Flying Solo In The Church


I’m reading more articles lately about Singles experiencing difficulty finding their place in the church.  It really saddens me and is also a subject that is very near and dear to my heart.

From what I’ve read and from my own experiences, it is more difficult to find a singles group in the church that involves those of us who are over the age of 30 and/ or who are divorced.

Don’t get me wrong, I am excited that many churches serve the 30 or younger groups with thriving singles ministry because marriage is what we they are supposed to look forward to at that age.

But what about the Singles, who year after year, remain faithful to the singles ministry and then reach that age where they are no longer eligible to be in the group?

Or the Singles who chose happily-ever-after only to find themselves suddenly divorced?

Disclaimer:  I don’t believe churches intentionally leave the single-over-30s or divorcees out on purpose.

Additionally, I believe the responsibility of staying or getting connected within a church ultimately lies with us.

For instance, if your church offers other ministries (book clubs, women’s groups, bible studies), then please do not isolate yourself, but do get involved with available ministries.

Also, I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, “10 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Living Single“, that if your church does not offer a singles ministry group that accommodates you, then visit a church that does.

I found there are some single ministries that allow individuals from other churches to join in with their group.  Therefore, you can still attend your church, but fellowship with those who have lifestyles similar to yours.

Remember to always get involved in other areas of your church, because involvement breeds connection.  Joining the choir, serving in the children’s or teen’s ministry, serving the community via church events, or even becoming a greeter.  You’ll connect with those you serve with.

One of the lies the enemy tells Singles is that we are alone.

He loves to isolate us and make us feel rejected in hopes we’d view the Father as treating us the same way.

We are not rejected, but accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians. 1:6).  We are not alone because His Word tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

We must understand that there are no perfect churches that offer everything to everybody.

Therefore, it is up to us to get connected and stay connected.  Don’t allow the enemies plan to isolate and manipulate you into thinking that being Single means you are flying solo, even in the church.

You will never fly solo if you continue to soar with Jesus!

Who knows, maybe you were called to birth a ministry for Singles over 30.  Maybe you were called to birth a ministry for Divorced Singles in the church or your home. Pray about it and see if God leads you to do so.

I leave you with this:  God did not intend for man/woman to be alone.  You may not have a mate at this time, but He has created us for fellowship.  Don’t allow the title of being Single stagnate you from flourishing in the church or any other areas in your life.  But do see this time in your life as a season of connecting with God wholly and uninterrupted.

Pour your life, your dreams, your visions, you hurts, your disappointments all out to Him and allow Him to guide you to that safe place in Him, that place of security, comfort, and peace.  We, Singles, have a special time with Him that many others wish they had.  Therefore, be encouraged to share your life with others because we having something to offer the world as well…our time with Him.

May His love overwhelm you,

Marilyn J.


8 thoughts on “Flying Solo In The Church”

  1. What a great article! I married in my upper-mid 30s, so I could relate to this very well. I love how you encourage singles to get involved in their churches…This helps to keep perspective, so that their “singleness” doesn’t overwhelm everything in their life. I truly enjoyed reading this!

  2. “You will never fly solo if you continue to soar with Jesus!” Amen! Being single doesn’t mean we have to feel lonely. As long as we stay connected to Jesus and in fellowship with other believers we won’t feel like we are flying solo. Great post!

  3. Hi Marilyn! I am back from a blog break, and it’s great to reconnect with you!
    I agree that it’s up to us all to make that leap and get into social groups in the church. It does seem that there is a gap in serving 30+, but I do like your observation that maybe God is asking for volunteers to start a ministry too. We are not meant to live alone…so I pray we will all have the will to connect!

    I have a new blog home now. It was a big move, but I hope I’ll be able to figure everything out 🙂

  4. After reading this my wheels started turning…there aren’t many churches I’ve encountered that offer programs for those over 30. I believe this would help those who have experienced divorce to overcome their painful hurdles much quicker. Also, it can teach them how to wait on God when choosing the right person for marriage.

  5. Marilyn I say a resounding Amen! This is a beautiful post, and I like the way you have highlighted this important issue. Like you, I also believe more needs to be done to encourage and support the singles that fits the criteria you described. There are so many hurting singles in this situation. I pray the the Lord will move many in this situation forward into purpose and fulfillment. Thanks for taking the time to share my sister. God bless you! 🙂

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