Single During The Holidays

Single During the Holidays

Christmas and the whole holiday season is a happy time of year. I don’t mean to sound carol-ish, but really it is “the most wonderful time of the year”, in my opinion.

However, as a single woman, I know how difficult this time of year can be as well.

But, I no longer buy into the hype of the whole “being alone at Christmas” drama.  I love Christmas because it’s a celebration of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and I choose to enjoy it regardless of my non-dating status.

Consequently, the holiday season automatically fills the air with love and romance.  It’s as if Cupid is somewhere hiding behind every tree with a hose filled with romance, pumping the stuff in the air by the pounds instead of using his sweet, little bow and arrow to pierce our hearts.

The TV is plastered with commercials of diamonds and pearls and wedding proposals on Christmas day. Already, the Hallmark channel aired several different versions of the girl whose mother is pressuring her to bring a guy home for Christmas, because unlike her other siblings, she can’t seem to find a man.

I still can’t figure out why that would be the best Christmas gift a daughter could give her mother/parents???

I also know during this season that Singles can fall into the temptation of wanting someone to keep them warm during the cold winter nights.  Someone to cuddle with in front of the fireplace.  Someone to go Christmas shopping with while imagining the perfect gift he will buy for you.

By the way, as I’m writing this, it’s 75 degrees in North Carolina right now, which is unusually warm for this time of year, so I have no excuse to find me a snuggle bear.  🙂

I appeal to your spiritual wisdom by suggesting that you not give in to the temptation of settling.  By settling I mean don’t settle for the guy who didn’t ring your phone while you were dating, but suddenly is calling you out-of-the-blue.

Or the guy who thought it was best that he take a little time away from you, but now is Instagramming you photos of himself.

Or the creepy guy with a heavy spirit of lust who says he misses you and asks if you would engage in sexting (texting sexually explicit stuff) with him.

We were created for more!

We are not someone’s bed mate, snuggle bunny, or someone’s excuse to “have a good time”.

We are created in the image of the living God and He loves us the way we need to be loved. 

Allistair Begg, an awesome teacher of God’s Word over at Truth For Life , taught a series titled “My Times are in Your Hands”, which can be downloaded here for free.

In this series, he describes people in the bible whose lives involve many injustices, but in the end God worked things out for their good.

You may think, how does his series relate to my singleness.  Here’s how.  You may see life as unfair or unjust because you don’t have a mate to spend your holidays with.

As a result, you may feel you deserve to find someone for yourself and take matters into your own hands.

You may feel like God understands that you are only human and that you have desires that need to be met.

But God says ” I urge you, brothers and sisters, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God –  this is true and proper worship” (Rom 12:1).

During the Christmas season, sanctifying our bodies to the Lord is a true form of worship to Him.  It’s a reasonable sacrifice and gift unto our God.  If sanctification is the only offering you can give to the Lord during this season of celebrating His birth, why not do it to the best of your ability?

Besides, settling for Mr. Right Now can likely make you miss out on your Boaz.

While your cuddling up to Beau(zo), Boaz is at his place of destination waiting to meet you.  But you’re not there.

Therefore, don’t be caught in a position of desperation because of all the holiday hype.  Being single is not a disease and settling for the wrong person is not the cure.

I encourage you to trust God. Our times, the ending to our story, are in God’s hands.  He sees you in this season of singleness and it has not taken Him by surprise.  He’s not in heaven declaring to the angels “I thought she would have been married by now”.  No!

He knows all of our tomorrows and He is not worried or stressed because He is control.

Enjoy your season of celebrating Christ.

May His love overwhelm you,

Marilyn J.


20 thoughts on “Single During The Holidays”

  1. Christmas can definitely be hard on singles, but just like you I have learned to focus on the celebration and joy found with family and friends during this season that I have no time left over to worry about my relationship status. It’s all about what you choose to let your thoughts dwell on and I try to focus on what God has given me not what I am still waiting and praying for.

    Thank you for this encouraging post. Be blessed and enjoy this time to the fullest!

  2. Anna, I agree with you wholeheartedly. It’s definitely about choosing to focus on the the more important things. From reading your blog posts, I can tell that God is doing amazing things in your life, even while single. So glad to connect with others who choose to be happy, even while single.
    Have a Merry Christmas!

  3. Marilyn thanks for this brilliant post! I think you really got to the bottom of the matter with “Therefore, don’t be caught in a position of desperation because of all the holiday hype. Being single is not a disease and settling for the wrong person is not the cure.” We have to learn to keep our eyes off ‘media and people hype’ and focus on Christ because He alone is faithful. Have blessed Christmas season!

  4. You are a wonderful writer. You also have a great attitude about being single. You remind me of Paul in the bible or was it Peter lol. Anyway thanks for sharing! Also thanks for checking out my blog and commenting. I really appreciate it! God bless you this Christmas season.

  5. Great post, Marlyn! I’ve had to learn this lesson too. Jesus is the main thing. He is my reward not a man. The Lord has taught me to focus on Him alone during all seasons whether Christmas or Valentines and every other season of loneliness and to trust Him with all of it. My times and seasons are in His hands. To Him be the glory! Amen!! 🙂

  6. Than you for writing these encouraging words. God has chosen to bless me with a husband and family, but that does not mean that singles are experiencing His second best!

  7. Well said! Your post brought back memories when I was single. I worked at a large church so I always had the reminder from people, “When are you getting married?” The holidays were a time I spent with friends and family. Way to stay strong and have a positive attitude!

  8. Hi Marilyn! Love that sense of humor. And that God is not up there wondering why you are not married 🙂
    Giving in to God’s control is not an easy thing. I know I have to dedicate myself to it daily. I love the idea of not missing your Boaz. You have a real gift for words, very clever!

    Have a good Tuesday. Be thankful it’s so warm! It was 5 degrees this morning when I woke up. BRRR!

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