I haven’t written a blog post in two weeks, so I’m excited to write today. Two weeks ago ,I was sick with a cold/sinus infection. Last week, I went home to Michigan to visit my children who are in college. My daughter attends Michigan State University and my son attends Mount Pleasant Community College.
I decided to pay my children a visit before the holidays. Because of their work schedules and school, neither of them will be able to come home for Christmas. My heart is sad just typing that sentence because it will be our very first Christmas not spent together.
The intro is a good lead into my song for this Tuesday. The song is titled “The Life I Know”, by India Arie. I had the privilege of seeing her perform this song live and it touched me dearly.
In this song, India describes her own life as a single woman.
She sings of all the duties that normally a two-person or two-parent household assumes together. Things like cutting the grass, taking out the trash, and even filling the car tank with gas.
As I’ve mentioned before in earlier posts, I became an empty-nester all too soon. After my youngest, my baby boy who has always been so protective of his mommy, returned to Michigan to complete his senior year of high school with his dad, we cried for a week.
We??? No, I didn’t have a man in my life to share that time of fear, incompleteness, and desperation. I had my pet Calico cat, Katianna (aka Kati). My cat sat at my son’s bedroom door crying for an entire week, which in turn filled my heart with guilt for allowing him to follow in his two older siblings footsteps.
You see, years prior my girls had also returned to Michigan to complete their senior years of high school because they missed their father and the children whom they were raised with all of their lives.
Although I secretly prayed they would choose me over their father and child-hood friends, I knew my selfishness would eventually cause bitterness in my children as well as my ex-husband.
My ex always been a great father to our children. Even after our divorce and him remarrying, we chose to have a cohesive parenting relationship to maintain balance and parental boundaries for our children.
I should mention that my oldest daughter had moved back to the town where I live, but she lived on her own. At the time, I seen very little of her because she worked long hours and had a new “boo-thing” aka boyfriend 🙂 .
Although I didn’t understand the lack of time we spent together, I later realized she was trying to find her new life and independence. I wanted her to need me, but she was strong; a mirrored image of myself at her age. My only resolve was to remind her how much I missed her and loved her when she remembered to return my phone calls and paid me and our lonely cat a visit.
These days, life looks a little different. However, I already miss having all of my children home for the holidays.
But, I have a lot to be grateful. Both kids are doing well in school. Additionally, my oldest daughter and I will have the pleasure of having front row seats to my granddaughter’s first, recognizable Christmas. She is the most adorable granddaughter in the entire earth!
She was only a few months old last Christmas, so this year will be exciting!
Additionally, I feel good about how I left my children in Michigan. I spent a whole day at my sister’s preparing meals for them that I froze in Ziploc bags for the days they may run out of food and left them with bags of groceries.
This is the life I know! The life of a single mom. My children are 800 miles away, my granddaughter has the pleasure of receiving all the kisses and hugs I can’t give to my children (even though most times I have to steal them), and I still cut the grass, rake the leaves, fill my own gas, and take out my own trash.
Like India declares in her song, sometimes it hurts like heck, but “it’s the life I know”.
In conclusion, I’d like you to know that it’s okay to embrace your singleness. However, you don’t have to be lonely. God has spoiled me with His love during this season of my life. And for that reason, I wouldn’t trade my times of singleness and intimacy with the Lover of my soul for anything else in the world.
There’s a time in life, when our hearts thirstiness can only be quenched by unrelenting love of the Father.
Don’t take your time of singleness for granted, however your situation came to be.
Just bask in His love by spending as much time as you can cultivating a pure love relationship with Him.
As always, He won’t let you down.
Please click here to listen to India sing her song…enjoy!
May His love overwhelm you,