I used to think I needed a boyfriend or a husband to enjoy life. I wanted someone to eat popcorn with at the movies, sing and dance with at concerts, travel to exotic places, and play in the ocean.
As I look back over my relationships, I did do some exciting things while dating. However, most of the time I didn’t, because the relationships were usually centered on sex.
Since then, God helped me understand why I was so unhappy and discontent while dating. He whispered to me that as long as my relationships were sex-centered and not God-centered I would never be truly happy or content.
The enemy loves to taunt single women
After I decided I was no longer going to date, the enemy taunted me with thoughts like:
“You will always have to order food out. Everyone will stare at you if you eat out by yourself.” I imagined myself calling Applebee’s to order food and always having to pull up to the “Take Out Orders” door; the “Singles” door on the other side of the restaurant away from where all the couples and families entered.
“You will have to pay double for the room on your cruise because you won’t have a man to go with you.”
“Get used to going to Redbox to rent movies, because no one goes to the movies alone.”
I believed the lies for awhile. The women I knew felt the same as me because they were dating outside of God’s will for their lives as well.
God does not make desperate women
If you turn on the television you’ll find women who are angry because they paid for the man to go on vacation with them, or they paid his mortgage, or for his car repairs all for the sake of being in a relationship.
Ultimately, the guy becomes accustomed to using the woman. Consequently, the enemy sees this weakness in women and continue to send men in her life that will use her. But she can’t figure out why she continues to date the same kind of men.
Once, I had to go on an overnight trip for training for a job. I asked my date, at the time, if he could go with me. I figured since I was already driving there and the hotel was paid for, what would be the harm in him going with me?
Additionally, the training was in Charleston, SC and if you haven’t been there before, the city is a couple’s paradise with nice beaches, shopping, tourism, and places to dine.
Warning: let me explain that I am very frugal with my money. Call me cheap, but I don’t like wasting money and for sure don’t like someone else wasting my money. I know how to live within my means, even as a Single.
Regardless, my date expected me to pay for and buy some things for him because I invited him to go on the trip with me. What???
After he got over the initial shock of me telling him no, the trip went down hill from that point on.
Needless to say, I never made that offer available to another man.
God desires for us to enjoy life…in Him
I remember telling God, “Okay, Lord. I’m going to do this “single thing” and stop dating. But, please allow me to enjoy my life. I don’t want to live a boring life.”
At that time, my oldest daughter was living on her own. My youngest daughter was away at college in Michigan and my son was in Michigan living with my ex-husband completing his senior year of high school.
All of my children returned to Michigan to complete their senior year of high school, because they wanted to graduate with the friends they were raised around as well as spend time with their dad. So, I became an empty-nester…too quick.
I became very settled with life. My life became routine, church, work, eat, read/TV,…repeat. I wasn’t bored, but I was comfortable, or should I say complacent.
Even still, God is so awesome! To my amazement, I enjoy my life more now than I ever had in all my years of dating.
God provided a couple of close friends to hang with. However, I still found ways of enjoying life on my own. It’s amazing!
While dating, I wasn’t confident enough to enjoy life alone. Now that my confidence is in Christ Jesus, I know that I am created for purpose, not just to be someone’s bed mate.
I have the Everlasting God living and breathing on the inside of me which, at the very thought, overwhelms me.
I am a daughter of the King and therefore have a right to a purposeful life in Christ Jesus!
And so do you!
To be continued: In part 2 of this message, I will provide tips on getting the most out of Living Single.
May His love overwhelm you,