Show Me Who I Really Am

mirrors

The Questionnaire

My brother gave me a copy of a questionnaire that he had taken at his home group.  It’s titled the “Redemptive Gifts Questionnaire”.  He suggested I take the questionnaire, I suppose to find out what my gifts are.

For 3 days, I looked at the questionnaire sitting on my dresser and somewhat cringed at the thought of taking it.

I am not the questionnaire type of person. They remind me of times in my life when I had to take a deep look at myself and make difficult changes.  Attitude changes.  Behavior changes.  Diet changes.  Life changes.

I even looked over the answer section and the questions to see how I could tamper with the results to somehow work in my favor.  Go  figure.

The Mirror Effect

This questionnaire reminded me of a time I asked God to “show me myself”.  The bible says that we look on the outward appearance of man, but God looks at the heart (1 Sam 16:7).  I wanted to know the self that I hid from everyone else.  I also wanted to know the self that I couldn’t see when I looked in the mirror at myself.   What is behind the image that is in front of the mirror that no one else sees, not even me?

The heart serves as our consciousness and our secret place.  The bible says in Rom 2:15 -16 our conscience bears witness with our hearts, sometimes accusing us and other times defending us.  It goes on to say that God will judge people’s secrets through Jesus Christ.

The Veil

Imagine a man waiting at the alter for the arrival of his new bride.  As she approaches, her veil looks tattered, dirty, and worn in many places.  The veil serves as a covering and is only to be lifted by the man who holds her heart in his hands.

His everlasting love for her draws her to the alter.  When she reaches him, he declares his love for her and tells her she was made for him.  He tells her there is nothing she could ever do to stop him from loving her.

He lifts the veil.  The bride drops her head in shame.  He lifts her head and gives her a kiss on the cheek and she begins to glow from the inside out.  She feels beautiful, forgiven, and loved.

Repentance and Forgiveness

Like the story, Jesus is our Husband.  He ripped the veil so that we may approach the alter to repent of our sins and receive forgiveness and the holy kiss of everlasting love.

God showed me who I was…the hidden things in me.  I was in disbelief at first at one particular behavior.  That is until I caught myself in the very act of that sin.  The Holy Spirit said, yep this is how you are behaving.  I was astounded.

I didn’t like it, but He showed me so I can be more like Him and to have the character of Christ in me.

I’m not perfect by any means and still slip back into some of my old behaviors and attitudes.  But my God is perfectly capable of forgiving me.  The Holy Spirit quickly reminds me to repent of my sins and ask for forgiveness.  When I don’t do it quickly, it bothers my conscious until I do.

By the way, I gave the questionnaire another look and decided it’s not that bad after all.  I do need to know more about my gifts.  I will not allow fear to  intimidate me and make me feel inadequate.  I will face it head on to take a good look at myself and allow God to make the changes that need to be made in my life.

May His love overwhelm you,

Marilyn J.

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4 thoughts on “Show Me Who I Really Am”

  1. Wow. This really struck a chord in me. It takes a brave person to ask God to show them who they really are, to see beyond what is in the mirror, and what is in our deceitful hearts. But I think it is also an encouragement, knowing that God sees all that and loves us in spite of it, and uses us because of it.

    1. Shanique, honestly I wasn’t brave at all. I was scared because I knew I had some bad behaviors and attitudes, but I didn’t know to the extent. I was just at a point in my life where I knew there were things keeping me from being more intimate with God. Like you said, he sees all that and still loves us. Amen Sister!
      I pray His love overwhelms you,
      Marilyn J.

  2. This is so awesome. You are a gifted scribe(one who writes from the heart of God) to our hearts. You are truly fulfilling one of your callings. Gal_6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Love you Sis.

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